Excuse Me ‘no more’

Excuse making may mar individual success in the deadliest manner….
Almost every individual on earth is guilty of some wrongdoing. And if one is questioned about his/her misconduct, most of the people never take up the responsibility and admit their fault. On the contrary, they start framing excuses, which is not a novel mechanism. This detrimental habit can be traced back to the time immemorial of the ‘Garden of Eden’. As God questioned Adam whether he ate the forbidden fruit or not; he created the first excuse of the world, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." (Genesis 3:12) Similarly, when Eve was questioned, the second ever excuse was framed- "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." (Genesis 3:13) From thereon, excuses traveled all the way to the modern era and now, serve as the best friends of every individual in today’s world. Most of the people start learning this art of framing excuses from their early childhood. Whenever homework is absconded, the excuse to the teacher is – a total power failure occurred in our area. If someone happens to break a crystal vase at home, cats or dogs are always made the victims.

This happens usually because some of the children become adroit at making excuses while growing up. This excuse mkaing spree can be observed right from the moment a child learns talking. When this pattern is left unattended, it develops into a habit and keeps on lingering with an individual even into his/her adulthood thereby obstructing the development of a responsible adult. Now, the major difference between an adult and a child is that the former possesses cognitive skills that the latter does not have. These poor cognitive skills only account for immature thoughts in children, making them prone to giving excuses. One can very well relate to it by the famous rat and student joke that goes like –

A teacher once asked a student to draw a rat. After 10 minutes, the teacher turned to the student and was astonished to see a clear book. When she asked the student to reason out this disobedience, he said, “Madam, I never disobeyed you. I did draw the rat but a cat came running and ate up the rat.” At this, the teacher asked the whereabouts of the cat and the child replied that the dog ate her up and ran away leaving the book clear of pictures.

Not only children but also adults lacking such maturity become adept at offering excuses for everything they do. To add more to it, this instinct of giving excuses does not die down with the advancement of age; it gets strengthened and keeps lurking with an individual even as s/he steps into the corporate world. Whenever a manager assigns some task to his/her subordinate and the latter fails to accomplish that in time, they immediately seek refuge in the excuse – deadline was not communicated properly.

Not only at the workplace but also in day-to-day life; one keeps on giving lame excuses to everyone. Right from parents to friends and from bosses to relatives, all are equally befooled at one point or the other. So much so, that an individual’s own self too is not forgiven. The moment one gets up late in the morning, s/he starts murmuring to his/her self that s/he slept late at night.

To some people, these excuses come naturally. They consider these excuses as liberating agents that help in breaking free of responsibilities. At times these excuses are also coupled with reasons that justify various actions or/and inactions of an individual.

But these excuse making instincts completely destroy a person’s individual capabilities. One starts avoiding internal speculation for searching ways of managing his/her challenges and for meeting expectations; instead s/he starts searching for external means to evade it. This gives rise to an infinite number of prefabricated excuses.

There are some people who grow too accustomed to making excuses that the habit becomes as natural to them as blinking. Furthermore, they also become defensive about excuses made by them! It is here that the morality and character of an individual gets revealed. The immature, irrational mind remains busy in legitimising things whereas what comes to the rational mind is just excuses.

The question that arises in anyone’s mind here is how can one distinguish between excuses and reasons? If one was to consult Merriam Webster’s dictionary for this, the definition it offers for 'excuse' is
a: to make apology for
b: to try to remove blame from
And for 'reason':
a: a statement offered in explanation or justification
b: a sufficient ground of explanation or of logical defense;

In the light of the above, one can easily infer that offering legitimate grounds for doing something or for not doing it is not feasible without cognitive skills that may help in conducting such reasoning. Hence, people who give excuses out of habit are unable to recognise their own irrational thought process.

It is here that supervisors can see through this difference between excuses and reasons for both of them are used daily. To put it in simpler terms, any employee who reaches late to the office some day would be able to reason it out whereas another employee who gets late habitually, would have lots of excuses. The former would definitely be able to meet all expectations with the latter succumbing to the hurdles that s/he can use as excuses at some later point. Alexander Pope has very rightly stated in this context –
‘An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie guarded.’

To override this bad habit of giving excuses thereby making a valuable life; one may rely upon the power of promises. Individuals possessing this power are highly respected by everyone. Living up to one’s promise helps a great deal by winning others’ trust. Once this trust is gained, everyone would like an association with such a person eyeing the impending mutual gain. So, to say, refusing to give excuses would mean embracing responsibility that can bring forth huge dividends. And these dividends may range from extraordinary successes to an exceptional attitude that can serve like a foundation for self-esteem, smugness, and confidence.

To conclude, owning responsibility may help breeding competence and power and can convert one’s inabilities to abilities. Therefore, my dear friends shun the habit of making excuses and embrace responsibility right away. Remember no time is going to be more "perfect" than this and waiting for the best moment would only make you deny the likelihood of success. Stop making excuses for not being able to loose those extra inches or for not having found a perfect friend. Stop passing on the blame to lack of time or choices respectively. Just try to come out of your comfort zone and the change it would bring in you would get noticed soon!