Friday 6 May 2011

The Calmness Quotient

The Calmness Quotient
With a sudden rise in the quantity of stressful conditions worldover, what can help an individual to maintain his/her mental balance is calmness
Modern times are a phase of sheer adversities. Right from economic upheavals to an ever-simmering extremism and from a sudden upsurge of people unrest to domestic violence – everything seems to cast the most negative effect ever over human minds. To add more, what our teenage siblings are watching are videos that should have been banned a decade back. All this coupled with the rising corporate pressure to perform well requires a bizarre onus to stay calm.

To put it simply, anything to everything that is either capable of deviating us from our daily routines or can make us disoriented must be tackled with great caution. But, the method of tackling such disturbances greatly depends upon an individual. Some people are so strong that no mishap irrespective of its impact can disturb them whereas to some others, even a slight shift like a personal injury may appear like the end of the world. Similarly, exam results also cause some students to loose interest in life, which is wrong. Although each exam has a certain importance in our life yet just not being able to clear it, does not mean that you are worth nothing. Do not feel frustrated at all. It was just an exam and better things are yet to cross your way. During our lifespan, new responsibilities are entrusted upon us by the Supreme from time to time. Some of these are quite welcomed by us however some others include those we never wanted to deal with and make our brain to boil.

But in all such situations, what matters the most is to maintain your calm as much as possible because in moments of anxiety or during fits of anger, human bodies undergo a lot of stress. This mounting stress results in hampering the ability to think clearly whereas a calm person can control every situation due to clear thinking. However, it is easier said than done yet the odds of not being able to crack an entrance test are certainly not larger than life. It is quite true that an entrance exam is taken with a certain aim and flunking it may leave one little disoriented and confused; yet if one maintains his/her calm, a heads up on the situation can soon be achieved, which can impart more clarity of action.
Why is clarity needed?
Clarity hence is the key to effective shouldering of new responsibilities. Although it may not be very easy in test situations as everyone around you starts finding faults with your method of study and starts blaming you for not being attentive, serious and intelligent. Complaints start piling up and parents, friends, siblings and relatives all start playing foe yet kindly allow me to reiterate that mental calm can be the only rescue for it would lead to clarity of mind that would engender inner peace resulting in sure success next time.

Moreover, it is a universal fact that some of the best decisions in one’s life are taken while they were calm and not while they were hot headed. Thus a calm state of mind leads to greater efficacy. And now that you have belled the dreaded CAT, what most of you must be preparing for would be your upcoming GD and PIs. So remember, staying calm under this pressure of clearing the GD/PI is quite important, as it would help in making that ‘good impression.’ Furthermore, clearing a PI is not the hardest task in the world but it is just that we are not wired that way. And by the way, may I ask you a simple question here – what does it anyway take to stay calm? Almost nothing right? But if I ask you what would be the benefits of staying calm – the list would be long, really long. And if we talk particularly in a test context, the following methods can help maintaining the calm -

Devise strategies to fight stress as it leads to better preparation. Almost every candidate seems to feel stressed at some or the other stage of a GD/PI, yet keeping an arsenal of self-calming strategies handy can help greatly.

Taking a deep breath also helps greatly. Trust me, it’s not a joke, it is rather a scientific fact. Every individual’s breath becomes shallow in a stressful condition. As a result, his/her body starts releasing stress hormones. In such a case, if one takes a slow deep belly breath, the anti-stress nerves get stimulated that cause secretion of calming hormones, resulting in instant calm and total control of a situation irrespective of its level of difficulty.

Try taking a little time off the situation. If you are feeling stressed out at home, try playing your favorite sport or chat with a close friend. In case you feel nervous at an interview venue just take a stroll outside the waiting lounge or take a flight of stairs on the pretext of visiting the washroom. This getting away for a brief moment will surely help by clearing your head and offering the desired strength to face the situation.

Search some positive traits in the situation and focus on them. But what would you focus over directly depends upon the situation you are in like either one can focus the preferred outcome of the situation or any positive aspect of the total scenario.

Try to concentrate over one thing at a time. If you are taking a test, just mull over one question at a time moving from easy to difficult. However, in an argument, take time out. You can even abide by the principle of late Roger Mellott that states, "lose the battle and win the fight."

Proper energy investment needed In a nutshell, if one has to understand the principle of staying calm, quantum physics can come handy. One of its cutting edge principle dictates that – ‘energy evokes a response from energy’ – meaning my energy getting exchanged with or from yours and vice versa. Thus, if all the human beings come to understand the importance of staying calm, not only would they solve their problems effectively but also the world would become a better place to live and mind you, it’s not some fancy fairytale or a mere wishful thinking. It is only that most of us tend to invest our energy wrongly by taking stress. We should rather strive hard to maintain our calm and follow the Munna Bhai mantra – Tension lene ka nahi, dene ka re!

In our materialistic world, everyone measures success by material wealth only. But have you ever considered the prospects of a good mental health versus material wealth? Just imagine having ample time for doing what really turns you on. Would helping people around you selflessly not fill you with sheer ecstasy and satisfaction? If yes, it’s high time that you start prioritising quality life over material things and start investing your energies in the right directions – rest all will fall in place - even the wealth part. Therefore, nurture your inherent aptitude to stay calm along with setting calmness as your topmost priority and what will come, as return would be great exponential returns.

Justifying your Individual existence

Justifying your Individual existence
Having realised the true 'Purpose' of your life, achieving your dreams becomes easier
What am I doing? Not at the moment, but 'what am I doing here on earth' or 'why am I given this very existence 'is a thought that hardly crosses our minds because we are often too entangled in our busy schedules to discern the actual purpose of our life. Most of us are doing justifiable chores like going to a college for becoming employable, preparing for a renowned entrance exam, working in an organisation, or running a family. All these are necessary aspects of life but do they befit the connotation – ‘goal of life’?

Ironically, most of us encounter this detestable yet true fact that ‘we are like an aimless ship with no goal’, either in some grubby debate with our peers or in yet another heart breaking condition. And it is then that we realise how far we have drifted from what we ‘had to do’. The problem does not end there. We are drifting far apart from this ‘had to do’ with each passing minute, hour and day. But, what can come as a rescue is goal my dear friends, the trick lies in realisation. The sooner you realise the goal of your life – the lesser time would it take to make that goal come true thereby fetching you your due quota of respect.

But this, many of you would agree, is easier said than done. Many of the motivational gurus and corporate mentors preach this concept of goal realisation these days. But the million-dollar question here is – How would I ascertain the Purpose of my life?

And this purpose per say, is not getting a job, getting married to your best friend, earning a fat salary, or managing your routine responsibilities. This excludes the long-term goals even. It rather advocates the raison d'ĂȘtre why you are here after all - the very reason of your survival.
Adjudge Yourself
One may be an optimist or a nihilist. The latter category includes those individuals who do not perceive any meaning in life hence nullify a purpose. First decide which category do you belong to. In case you fall under the second one, it should not matter much. Just by not believing in the fact that you have a purpose cannot thwart you from realising it- people who do not believe in the gravitational force also trip. The only hitch here would be an elongated the realisation process.
The Process
Irrespective of your belief or non-belief in having a purpose, just invest one hour of a lifetime to find it. There are countless ways of zeroing in on your individual purpose, but the simplest of them all is as mentioned below. The only caution in putting the principle into practice is - your degree of openness to the method, and your belief in its success that would make it work faster for you. This implies simple logic of optimism. If you believe it, it is.

Furthermore, the process would even work despite your anxiety and doubts towards it albeit at a slower speed. Depending upon your rationality and mindset, you may consider the process to be quite ‘idiotic’ or/and worthless but if you remain glued to it, it would yield the desired outcome for sure - just taking a little longer to
congregate.
What to do
1. Hook on to your lappy (laptop)
2. Just open a word page and type the following phrase –
The real purpose of my existence is……..
3. Now, just note down the very first reason that comes to your head. It may or may not be a full sentence. A small phrase is also okay.
4. Keep repeating the 3rd point unless such an answer is found that makes you cry. The one that makes you loose yourself in sheer ecstasy, joy, or passion is your purpose.

Yes, that’s it. This is what you should have pursued but even if you were not aware of it till date – you still have all the time in the world.
The Limitations
The process, like its implications, appears quite a cakewalk to read but it has its own limitations. On an average, it would take around half an hour to de-clutter your head and to keep the social conditioning at bay. But the latter would keep hampering the real purpose from popping up. For a considerable amount of time, your mind would keep getting the old memories and false answers. But as the final answer would arrive, it would seem to be coming from an entirely different world. For individuals who remain ingrained in low-awareness living, the time taken for getting the right answer may stretch into hours. Strong perseverance however would definitely bring about the long-awaited emotional surge, irrespective of the number of wrong answers increasing from 50 to 60 to 70 and so on. Yet, pursue it despite a constant urge to shun it.
Misleading equations
During the process, you may encounter a mini-emotional outburst as well, but this may not make you cry indicating that they are not meant for the real purpose. Now, these answers must be highlighted and can be returned to for generating newer permutations. Individually each of these may reflect like a part of your wholesome purpose, but they aren’t complete. They should not be allowed to confuse you, resulting in a diversion from the real purpose. Albeit, the very popping up of such answers is a clear indication that you are close to the target!
A legendary tale
The above can be clearly understood by the example of a legendary Indian playwright namely Kalidasa. Every story about him starts with a clear mention of his extreme stupidity. Once it so happened that a few wise men of his native kingdom were passing by. They observed that Kalidasa was sitting on a branch of a tree and was sawing it off. These wise men were on an errand to search for one of the stupidest man in the region for playing a trick on their princess.

The latter had abused them and to seek revenge, these people thought of getting the princess married off to a stupid person on the pretext of his being extremely wise. Thus, they found our protagonist to be quite a "fitting" contender for the royal hand of the princess. They presented Kalidasa as a great sage with a silence avowal, who could communicate only through gestures. The princess grilled the sage and Kalidasa made several gestures. The wise men interpreted those gestures in such a way that made the princess believe that Kalidasa as the most knowledgeable man in the entire kingdom and married him. But soon she discovered the prank and lamented marrying a dolt. She kicked Kalidasa out of her palace. This ridicule made Kalidasa feel very low and he decided to commit suicide by drowning himself in the river. He observed at the riverbank that the washerwomen who scoured and pounded clothes on the riverbank had worn down the rocks beside the river. He thought, "If merely washing clothes can wear down something as hard as stone, surely my thick, numb, stupid mind can also be worn down."

This was the biggest transformation, as afterwards, the very same idiot became the most fluent and radiant poet in Indian history. His fame grew to such an extent that he is referred to as the Shakespeare of India.
The Epilogue
Once you find a satisfactory answer that can justify your existence, it would deeply resonate within you. The words penned down would yield a unique energy. But mere discovery of your purpose does not suffice; it needs regular follow ups. But finally, it would depend solely on you as to whether you want to be Kalidasa – an idiot or Kalidasa – the greatest Indian poet. So, my dear friends just get up, gear up your energies, discover your goal, materialise it and it would definitely help your dream come true!

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail...

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail...
Planning is the most crucial ingredient for success of any business enterprise
If someone were to ask what according to you differentiates a successful organisation from an unsuccessful one – what would be your answer? Although a lot of factors contribute to the success and/or failure of any business enterprise, but one of the key factors, which distinguishes triumphant businesses from middling and failed ones according to various research papers is “Planning”. Moreover, it is not only planning, but also the excellence of the plan that constitutes success along with regular assessments and the preferred modifications in the plan.
"A Plan is a trap laid to capture the future " —Allen

If a satisfactory future featuring maximum goal realisation is what one aims at - effective planning is the only key to reach there. More than two-third of any task can be accomplished well by accurate planning. It has been observed quite often that lack of planning or bad planning gives out just 20% results in lieu of 100% efforts thereby creating a huge rift between effort and result.
meaning of planning
Planning literally stands for a method that helps one analyse whether s/he should attempt a particular task or not. Along with this, it also helps an individual in charting out the best route to achieve his/her target. It also prepares him/her to trounce unanticipated hardships with ample reserves thereby assisting to gain maximum positive results from the given efforts. Good planning also stands for superior stewardship, as it is a must for gaining success in any venture along with careful preparation. The absence of these can however, guarantee failure.
Game plan
The importance of planning is brought home most clearly by the sports. Without proper planning, even the world champions may loose the game receiving the worst of defeats. Planning in sports is referred to as making of a game plan, which is a mere progression of steps that the said team must abide by for accomplishing the final game, which is winning the game. Most of the sportsmen have reiterated time and again that a well-hatched or badly hatched game plan only makes a team to win or loose. This implies that a team who fails to plan a victory is indeed the one who plans to loose. There are a lot of benefits of a good planning. It not only conserves resources thereby preventing wasted effort but also helps in saving both time and money. It can also help by curbing the problems in their very budding stage itself.

An ongoing process
Although change seems to be the order of the day in the fast paced corporate world today yet the importance of planning has quite clearly stood the test of time and has served to be the stepping-stone of success for various enterprises. One may hatch good plans but if they were not implemented well, they would be wasted. Hence, it is not just planning that is essential but timely execution also is equally important. Additionally, the plans must also be updated frequently. Now, this frequency would entirely depend upon the sectoral temperament of the business concerned. But the operational plans
must be updated on a weekly basis at least as a thumb rule whereas the strategic plans may be updated on a monthly basis.
Levels of Planning
Effective planning can take place at several levels some of which are mentioned here below -
Strategic level
Planning at the strategic level signifies the procedure of an organisation defining its strategy or trend. It is then on the basis of these trends only that the resources (human and financial) are allocated to complete a certain task.

There are a lot of business techniques that can help in carrying out a strategy analysis. Some of them are –
a. SWOT analysis
b. PEST analysis
c. STEER analysis
d. EPISTEL analysis

All these processes help one in setting the general course of a business by mapping out short-term to future gains of the business. This process being capable of calculating the probability of success in any commercial endeavor necessarily deals with one of these three questions -
1. What we do?
2. For whom?
3. How do we excel?
The last one however can be expressed in a better way like "How can we beat or avoid competition?" (Bradford and Duncan, page 1).
This helps various organisations to determine their vision as well. This planning can also serve as a valuable contrivance for efficiently maneuvering the direction of a business. But the process cannot however foretell the future conditions of the market. Thus, premeditated novelty and fiddling with the 'strategic plan' must be a keystone stratagem for a business to endure the tumultuous commercial ambiance.
Operational level
Planning at the operational level entails a compartmentalisation of the strategic work plan. It is here that the strategic plan is operationalised within a prescribed time frame. An operational plan serves as the starting point for a budget request for annual operations. Thus, to say, if any enterprise hatches a five-year strategic plan, it would also require five operational plans additionally which would be funded by five working budgets.

Going one step further to a strategic plan, an operational plan (OP) on the other hand tackles four questions:
• Where do we stand at present?
• Where do we wish to reach?
• How can we make it there?
• How can we appraise our development?

And, in order to provide effective answers to these questions, it is mandatory that people who would be responsible for implementing an operational plan should only be the ones who prepare these plans. This can be understood more effectively by the fact that cross-departmental dialogues are often needed for the plans created by a particular department naturally affect the other.

Hence, a good and effective OP must include -
• Lucid objectives
• Commotions to be conveyed
• Quality standards
• Preferred conclusions
• Conscription and human resource necessities
• Execution timetables
• A highly evolved method for scrutinising progress, etc.
Such an OP would hence

ensure a smooth functioning of the routine activities that have been marked important for exceptional success in any venture.
John Preston of Boston College said, “The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise and is not preceded by a period of worry and depression.”
Now, to some of us this may appear amusing, but to those who understand the gravity of the matter, this may appear quite alarming rather. Therefore, to conclude, all I can say is that effective planning is the most crucial thing not only to business enterprises but also to individuals for it can pave the path of long-lasting success by setting realistic goals.

Excuse Me ‘no more’

Excuse making may mar individual success in the deadliest manner….
Almost every individual on earth is guilty of some wrongdoing. And if one is questioned about his/her misconduct, most of the people never take up the responsibility and admit their fault. On the contrary, they start framing excuses, which is not a novel mechanism. This detrimental habit can be traced back to the time immemorial of the ‘Garden of Eden’. As God questioned Adam whether he ate the forbidden fruit or not; he created the first excuse of the world, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." (Genesis 3:12) Similarly, when Eve was questioned, the second ever excuse was framed- "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." (Genesis 3:13) From thereon, excuses traveled all the way to the modern era and now, serve as the best friends of every individual in today’s world. Most of the people start learning this art of framing excuses from their early childhood. Whenever homework is absconded, the excuse to the teacher is – a total power failure occurred in our area. If someone happens to break a crystal vase at home, cats or dogs are always made the victims.

This happens usually because some of the children become adroit at making excuses while growing up. This excuse mkaing spree can be observed right from the moment a child learns talking. When this pattern is left unattended, it develops into a habit and keeps on lingering with an individual even into his/her adulthood thereby obstructing the development of a responsible adult. Now, the major difference between an adult and a child is that the former possesses cognitive skills that the latter does not have. These poor cognitive skills only account for immature thoughts in children, making them prone to giving excuses. One can very well relate to it by the famous rat and student joke that goes like –

A teacher once asked a student to draw a rat. After 10 minutes, the teacher turned to the student and was astonished to see a clear book. When she asked the student to reason out this disobedience, he said, “Madam, I never disobeyed you. I did draw the rat but a cat came running and ate up the rat.” At this, the teacher asked the whereabouts of the cat and the child replied that the dog ate her up and ran away leaving the book clear of pictures.

Not only children but also adults lacking such maturity become adept at offering excuses for everything they do. To add more to it, this instinct of giving excuses does not die down with the advancement of age; it gets strengthened and keeps lurking with an individual even as s/he steps into the corporate world. Whenever a manager assigns some task to his/her subordinate and the latter fails to accomplish that in time, they immediately seek refuge in the excuse – deadline was not communicated properly.

Not only at the workplace but also in day-to-day life; one keeps on giving lame excuses to everyone. Right from parents to friends and from bosses to relatives, all are equally befooled at one point or the other. So much so, that an individual’s own self too is not forgiven. The moment one gets up late in the morning, s/he starts murmuring to his/her self that s/he slept late at night.

To some people, these excuses come naturally. They consider these excuses as liberating agents that help in breaking free of responsibilities. At times these excuses are also coupled with reasons that justify various actions or/and inactions of an individual.

But these excuse making instincts completely destroy a person’s individual capabilities. One starts avoiding internal speculation for searching ways of managing his/her challenges and for meeting expectations; instead s/he starts searching for external means to evade it. This gives rise to an infinite number of prefabricated excuses.

There are some people who grow too accustomed to making excuses that the habit becomes as natural to them as blinking. Furthermore, they also become defensive about excuses made by them! It is here that the morality and character of an individual gets revealed. The immature, irrational mind remains busy in legitimising things whereas what comes to the rational mind is just excuses.

The question that arises in anyone’s mind here is how can one distinguish between excuses and reasons? If one was to consult Merriam Webster’s dictionary for this, the definition it offers for 'excuse' is
a: to make apology for
b: to try to remove blame from
And for 'reason':
a: a statement offered in explanation or justification
b: a sufficient ground of explanation or of logical defense;

In the light of the above, one can easily infer that offering legitimate grounds for doing something or for not doing it is not feasible without cognitive skills that may help in conducting such reasoning. Hence, people who give excuses out of habit are unable to recognise their own irrational thought process.

It is here that supervisors can see through this difference between excuses and reasons for both of them are used daily. To put it in simpler terms, any employee who reaches late to the office some day would be able to reason it out whereas another employee who gets late habitually, would have lots of excuses. The former would definitely be able to meet all expectations with the latter succumbing to the hurdles that s/he can use as excuses at some later point. Alexander Pope has very rightly stated in this context –
‘An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie guarded.’

To override this bad habit of giving excuses thereby making a valuable life; one may rely upon the power of promises. Individuals possessing this power are highly respected by everyone. Living up to one’s promise helps a great deal by winning others’ trust. Once this trust is gained, everyone would like an association with such a person eyeing the impending mutual gain. So, to say, refusing to give excuses would mean embracing responsibility that can bring forth huge dividends. And these dividends may range from extraordinary successes to an exceptional attitude that can serve like a foundation for self-esteem, smugness, and confidence.

To conclude, owning responsibility may help breeding competence and power and can convert one’s inabilities to abilities. Therefore, my dear friends shun the habit of making excuses and embrace responsibility right away. Remember no time is going to be more "perfect" than this and waiting for the best moment would only make you deny the likelihood of success. Stop making excuses for not being able to loose those extra inches or for not having found a perfect friend. Stop passing on the blame to lack of time or choices respectively. Just try to come out of your comfort zone and the change it would bring in you would get noticed soon!

Redefining Decision-Making

Learning to evaluate ideas before they become decisions thereby ensuring good results
Almost every human being has predetermined notions of good and bad. The definition however of both the phrases greatly differs for each different individual. And, it is this distinction only that reflects the mindsets of people. This implies that anything, which is good for A, can be simply great for B and may not be OK to C. Same is the case with decision making. A particular decision may instigate three different opinions from three different individuals.

Therefore, evaluation of any decision must be done way before actually making the decision because once the decision is taken no evaluation of any sort can reverse the outcome. Now, the million-dollar question here is how can a decision be evaluated?
Evaluating a Decision
Decision evaluation is a very calculative process and there are two important tools that are required for it to be successfully accomplished. One needs to take care of the following things during the course of this evaluation –

Timing
While evaluating a decision, it is quintessential to figure out as to what time frame does it fall in or what stage of the decision making process has been reached. Many a times it happens that people start evaluating their decisions at a time when it is already too late to make alterations; and it is here that they start justifying their actions. Although decision-making traps do exist yet there are logical ways to avoid them.
Listing options
Most of the management experts endorse the idea of penning down all the options available and then choosing the best applicable amongst all of them. The modus operandi for selecting these options can range from a decision matrix to a spreadsheet and from decision trees to database analysis programs. This states that the main idea behind cogent decision-making is to ensure that your decision would be the best and would be completely devoid of any negative consequences what so ever.

To simplify, we can say that what we are doing is evaluation and not future prediction. Therefore, while evaluating a decision one must not bother about its result as lots of people complain of loosing themselves on ‘What will happen Next?’ It is here that a lot of time gets wasted in fearing the unknown.

In my opinion, such unproductive thoughts must be put at bay by all of us. What we should do instead is a fair evaluation of our decision by following the steps listed below:
a. Gathering relevant information,
b. Breaking it down significantly,
c. Analyzing all options,
d. Deciding and act.
This methodology proves to be effective in most of the cases and is hence advised by experts.
Klein’s View
Gary Klein, one of the renowned psychologists thinks that the above-mentioned process may not be the customary pattern for all humans. His research shows that about 95% of the humans approach their decision-making faculties in recognition-primed manner.

They mull over the information at hand in relation to their desired outcome. And their course of action is inspired by their past experiences as well. Moreover, they would warmly welcome any idea they think can result in an intended outcome, thereby shunning other ideas forever and choosing an alternate way is chosen. The most amazing part here is that they do not do this after conscious weighing of the positive and negative aspects of any idea or by comparing several options. They just do it for the sake of it.

But there is the other segment of people as well who think over their mistakes and try to improve upon them. Such people can be categorized as thinkers who strive hard to make all their decisions better than ever before. Such individuals thus have a distinguished personal aspect. This further affects their individual decision-making that is based on who the individual is. In such cases, the outcome of one’s decisions stands as a manifestation of him/herself on to the outer world.

This is because who you are decides what you would do in a given situation. Now, what you would do would strengthen your sagacity. And it is here that a feed-forward circle is created that regularly keeps on reinforcing self-motivation thereby easing out the complexities involved in the process of decision making.
Making Good Decisions
There is an oft-repeated question that people normally keep asking in discussions involving decision-making. It is ‘how can I take good decisions?’ This is not only a good question it rather is a great one!
Each one of us needs to take many decisions everyday. Right from the breakfast table to supper, we keep working on our decision-making powers. The fight between good and bad decisions goes on and on.

Good vs Bad
Sometimes, one may make excellent decisions. The person may feel that a particular decision was not that good by judging the effects of its outcome. But after some time, when s/he sits back and realizes, the said decision indeed gets recognized as the best one in that particular scenario. That is to say, good decisions do stand the test of time, as they remain good for eternity.

Similarly, there are other times as well when one makes decisions s/he may have felt uneasy about. Yet those decisions may be the ones that were the best possible choice during that given time frame. Therefore, one must understand that except some divine coincidences; every decision has a set of positive and negative consequences associated with it.

But there does exist a sense of conscience called the 'gut feeling' irrespective of all logic. This may seem to be an advice coming from within you or may even occur, at times, in the form of a visual cue. The signal is there; the form however may vary. It can be visual, auditory, or even sensory but the information does pass through. And it is this information only that helps us make good decisions for it is nothing but general awareness which actually enables us to distinguish between a good and a bad decision. This is a universal idea that translates over to all walks of human performance. Be it thinking, creativity, decision-making or sensing the outcome, the inner voice always guides us.

But, to all those who have never felt the existence of this signal, another tip may come handy. They can simply follow Mr. Perfectionist, Aamir Khan’s ALL IS WELL formula as depicted in his most talked about movie ‘Three Idiots’. And trust me it does work for our heart can be filled with astute optimism just by a single positive tap. Hence, when nothing seems to be working well, and you are weighed down heavily, either trust your conscience and go by the first instinct or just follow your heart. You would observe all the tensions would start fading away and your decisions would never turn bad.
This is the art of good decision-making is quite simple, isn't it?

Thursday 5 May 2011

Getting Trapped in the ‘trap’

Many a times we just go about by others’ opinions. Most of us may have even chosen our career stream just because someone else thought this was the only best thing we could ever do. But was that really true?
Have you ever crossed any terrain using elephants to carry out the logging work? I crossed one recently and was astonished to see that this mighty creature is tethered in its hours of leisure by a thin single rope. Although the rope is long enough to allow the elephants to move around, but it restricts them from wandering around the place.

Does this not sound surprising? On pragmatic terms, an elephant weighs some several thousand kilos and effectively no rope on earth can ever hold an elephant that decides to break free of its bondage.

The million dollar question here is ‘Why don't they do it, then?’

It is because their mental reflex has been conditioned to accept the rope ever since their childhood. An elephant calf when tethered for the first time is too small and weak to be straining against the rope. Although it tries its level best to break free yet it does no good for at that time, the calf has not got the power to break the rope.

And it is here that the famous memory of elephants starts working against them. These calves never forget their efforts in trying to break the rope and the resulting failure. And just because they were not able to break through the rope at that point in time; they start living on the assumption that they can never ever break it.

And a small rope thus gets the honor for holding a fully-grown elephant. This, my friends, is the power of thinking.
POWER OF THINKING
Not only animals, but some humans also showcase this trait. Various psychiatrists reiterate that people who were told as children that they weren't very good at a particular thing grew up believing that and never even tried that particular thing for the rest of their lives.

“No one on earth is perfect. Everyone may commit mistakes; the only need is to reassure an individual that his/her action was the best in regard to his/her individual capabilities. And this is the only way to foster positive energies,” says Dr Anurag Saluja, senior psychiatrist at Max Hospital.

This can be simplified by putting it as may be that a child might just need a little practice, or might need to be taught a better way of doing a particular task than s/he would know to be at par with his/her peer group. And, in the absence of such reassurances, children start exhibiting traits of severe shyness or start becoming introverts due to excessive peer pressure. What can work wonders here is a little encouragement from the parents.

Many a times it happens that a stressed out or irritable parent ignores the child. A mother might not have exhibited the patience to hear out the child’s full narrative of an event in the hurry to reach office in time. Whatever be the reason, phrases like "What do I do with you?" and/or "You'll never get it right!" mar the initiating instinct in the child forever. This or being laughed at by the father, mother, and/or a sibling may prove to be an ever bothering shackle like the rope around the ankle of an elephant and would never come to be recognized as the weak thing; it really is. And this incident of a child being mocked at by a dear one whose good opinion matters a lot; will hog-tie the person for life.

We, as human beings have been gifted with the most precious dispensation by the Providence in the form of rationality. This grants us the capacity to change our thinking as per context. If one learns to recognize the archaic limitations that held his/her instincts back from their real goal; they can simply breakthrough these as surely as an elephant could break a rope.

The only requirement here is to just put some thought to work and interpret what would we really love to do that we are not doing now? It can be a particular course of study, a profession to be pursued, and/or something that you just missed out on-a career, you always wanted to pursue, an interest that lies buried deep down your heart, or a hobby that soothes your tired spirits? Do you have any unfulfilled ambition that you shunned years back as someone sneered at you then and foretold that you would never be able to make it? Remember, absolute honesty is needed here. Being disheartened or scoffed is the most painful and embarrassing experience for a child, and most of us cope up with it by concealing the entire incident, in the deepest recess of our minds along with our much cherished ambition because we do not want to feel that trauma again.

Trust me, looking back at that ambition now would not bring back that trauma but would rather relieve you by enabling you finding out the reason you wanted to follow it and will also help you adjudge whether you still want to pursue it or not? In case, it turns out to be some such thing that you seem to have outgrown honestly; do not worry about it any more and just treat it like taking the sting out of a bad memory, getting rid of all the concerns
associated with it.

AN ETERNAL QUESTION
But before consigning your interests to the oblivion, do question yourself one last time.

If you were to live in a perfect world, and if you are ensured that pursuing your interest would never hurt again, and that you do possess the talent required to make it big, and there would be no failures, along with people around you applauding your skills, would you still want to walk away from it?

And if you hear the feeblest and tiniest voice inside you asking wistfully, ‘what if’; the job is done. Do go ahead and the world will see you marveling at the thing you were first ridiculed at. Remember, most of the technological advancements of 21st century were once mocked at. Every great thinker and philosopher was once shunned by our society.

Thence, it is not the people but your interest, what matters the most. Almost every skill can be learned and in such cases, happiness comes not from what one gets from life, but also from the creative energy that one puts into doing something he/she loves to do. Most of the people who mocked others' dreams have never even tried to realize their own ever. Therefore, just try and tap your latent talent once again and trust me, you can come out in flying colors.
Happy Exploring!!!